If Teenagers Ran the World


Being the parent of three teenage boys, I have come to the realization that the world would be a different place if it were run by people like these.  It must be wonderful to always have a safety net, to never have to be responsible for the stupid things you do.  Teenagers always seem to have some excuse, some reason why things didn’t go exactly right for them.  And they are not at fault.  Ever. 

 

So, if they ran the world, things would be different.  If parents were removed from the picture, all retired to some remote location within the country in which they live, and left the world to the all wise, all knowing teenagers, things would surely be better. 

 

First of all, all laws governing personal behavior would swiftly be repealed.  A teenager should certainly not be held accountable for causing a multi-car pileup while they were texting their friend to find out what they were wearing to the party on Friday.  They would also not want to be held accountable for the destruction of property they caused, since they didn’t earn the money to pay for the property.  Who cares about someone else’s stuff?  What’s really important is how am I getting to the mall tonight?  My friends want me to drive. 

 

Second, financial institutions would be outlawed, or at least the part about finding out someone’s creditworthiness before loaning them money.  I mean, why should I have to get a job to get money?  Mom and dad… wait.  They are retired to Florida.  I forgot. 

 

Third, they would outlaw anyone questioning their budding wisdom.  Obviously, since teenagers already know it all, who would dare question them?  If they are destroying their lives, who should question that?  It’s my life, dammit!  I can do anything I want to do.  Regardless of the outcome.  Mom and dad will… oops.  Sorry.  Forgot again. 

 

Finally, they would establish some kind of government, based solely on popularity.  The most popular people always win in elections at school.  Just vote for person that has the most confidence and seems to know what they are doing, and we don’t have to worry any more.  They would completely trust this person’s judgement, regardless of how ridiculous their proposals may be, and not think twice about it.  I can’t be bothered with how the government is run.  I’ve got to get those new shoes I saw Binky wearing at the church social.  (Unfortunately, these are exactly the kind of people who voted for President Obama in the last election.)

 

Yes, it would seem that the world would be better with teenagers running the show.  I would certainly be better off, being retired to Florida.  But the world would end. 

 

At least we would all have Abercrombie jeans to wear, cool cars to drive, and great video games to play.  Except that these things cost money.  And my wife and I would have all the money. 

 

Now that would be cool. 

 

J

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