A Few Random Thoughts

Hannity has some liberal crackpot on his show who says you have to pay more money to live in America.  We pay a ton of money for public education so our kids can learn less and less in government schools. 

Bill Clinton now says that we shouldn’t go after government with strong speech because Tea Partiers could have another Tim McVeigh among them.  I only have one question:  who cares what Clinton says?  He didn’t mind when crowds of liberal nuts painted George Bush with Hitler mustaches.  Bill, don’t you have some skirts to chase? 

I don’t remember being a prick to my dad like my son is, but I guess I was.

Here’s a news flash:  22% of Americans trust the government (according to Pew research).  What’s wrong with these people? 

Ah, the good old days when you could target someone from a particular age and ethnic group to save lives.  I care a lot more about air traffic safety than someone being offended. 

I care about soccer more than I care about someone being offended.  And I don’t give a rat’s ass about soccer.

My sincerest apologies to Matt Kenseth, Jeff Burton, and Jeff Gordon.  I put them on my fantasy racing team, so naturally they all ran good at Texas today but couldn’t get a good finish because of bad luck. 

I have Jimmie (I must have a leprechaun in my shorts) Johnson on my team too.  Even my bad luck can’t hurt him.  He’s the teflon driver. 

I love spring.  Miniskirts, tank tops, and open toed shoes.  That’s all I have to say about that. 

I also hate spring.  Pollen.  Enough said.

Someday, I hope that my kids realize I’m not an idiot, and I hope they get that message before their lives suck. 

One of my kids has gotten his first paying gig as a musician.  I hope he’ll let me live in a wing of his house.  Preferably a different wing from the one his mother lives in. (I’m joking, honey.)

Does anybody have a diet of Big Macs that allows you to lose weight?  I need that. 

So Willie Nelson got a mechanical engineering degree between tokes.  On Larry King, he said that a metal building has never collapsed from being hit by a plane.  To my knowledge, that’s only happened once.  Well, twice, technically.  I guess the idea of jet fuel burning at 1500 degrees damaging steel wasn’t taught in Willie engineering school. Dude, that can, like, happen?  Whoa. 

How far can you drive a car with no oil in the engine?  Ask my son.


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