It’s Time for Profiling


With all the hubbub about the TSA’s ridiculous new search procedures, it’s time for us to consider a new path. 

Profiling. 

Profiling works.  I know, I know.  Timothy McVeigh wasn’t a muslim.  He also didn’t try to park a bomb-laden truck on an airplane.  He laid low and struck a blow when no one was looking.  After all, Bill Clinton was in office at the  time.  A lot of people struck blows while he wasn’t looking (think Osama Bin Laden or Monica Lewinski.  Whichever suits you).  But, if you look at the data from ALMOST all of the terror attacks on our country since then, and you’ll see a common thread:  Muslim men between the ages of 18 and 34.  Most from the middle east (the panty bomber wasn’t middle eastern, but Africa counts, right?) No three year old girls.  No eighty-seven year old grandmas.  No frequent flyer businessmen.  No commercial airline pilots. 

So, why are these people being groped by the TSA?  By their own admission, these searches violate the fourth amendment (that’s the one that bans illegal search and seizures, for you Democrats.)  They are being groped for the same reason I got groped when I changed a flight.  We aren’t looking for terrorists.  We’re looking for weapons.  Not weapon weilding terrorists. 

Now, to point out how ridiculous all of this is, an air marshall, carrying a sidearm issued by the government, was forced to leave his nail clippers at the screening area.  Also, pilots are forced to get this search as well.  If he wanted to kill everyone on board, why would he need a weapon?  HE’S FLYING THE PLANE!  He could easily crash the plane, if he wanted to. 

What can you do?  Don’t fly.  That’s it. 

But, if these government jerks can get you when you get on a plane, they can get you anywhere.  When you get on a bus, a train, into a cab, anywhere. 

I’ve often said, through a groggy, sleepy-eyed fog, that I’m okay with the TSA being thorough, as long as flying is safe for me and the other passengers onboard.  That was before my junk was in play.  I have a couple of tickets on my record, but I’ve never been convicted of a crime, and I’ve only ever been accused of a misdemeanor.  Why should I be corralled like a cow heading off to slaughter if I change my flight?  I have gotten the “special screening” on more than one occasion.  The one that stands out in my mind was in Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.  I had to change my flight due to a change in work schedule.  So, I was “selected” for extra screening.   They put me in cordoned off area with some little old ladies, three of whom looked middle eastern, and a couple of children.  I guess I was the “token” white guy.  And why do they try to make you feel special by calling the “cavity search” being “selected?”  I know what’s coming.  I just hope they haven’t run out of K-Y.

This could all be done away with if the airlines or airports had to provide their own screening.  They would come up with a system of verifying the people on the plane without having to have a cigarette after the search was over.  And, since the airlines are on the hook for damages if someone’s family member is killed in an attack anyway, why not put the government out of the anal penetration business and let the airlines do this?  Private companies are always smarter and more efficient than the government is. 

Or we could, hmmm, what could we do?  Steal my screwdrivers?  No.  Go through my bags and pilfer my multimeter?  No. 

We could anally penetrate middle eastern men ages 18-34.  And toss in a convicted felon here and there, just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings.  Check that.  I don’t care if we hurt their feelings.  Maybe if some of these guys would publicly denounce some of these horrific acts by members of their faith, turn in radicals to the cops that they meet at their local mosque, none of this would be necessary.  The price for your silence is, well, you know. 

Maybe the TSA won’t be happy until they can stand around and talk for hours with no passengers to search.  They stand around and talk now.  Might as well not have anywork to do.  I know Obama doesn’t like business.  Maybe that’s the key. 

Profiling is an idea whose time has come.  We can ask the Israelis how they do it, and implement their system.  It seems to work for them. 

But the new TSA guidelines are political correctness run amok.  Political correctness got us the Ft. Hood shooter.  Unless we start actively looking for the PEOPLE who want to do us harm, we may all be flying naked.  Trust me, we don’t want that.

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